alotofunsteady:

willowdove:

alrightinthebayou:

so apparently when my sister and i were little we took golfing classes and we got kicked out after a week. the reason being that the old white male instructor kept calling my 4 year old sister Maria “Mary” after she told him several times that her name is pronounced Maria. anyway, at one point, he tells her “well, that doesn’t matter anymore. you’re in America now.” and that distressed my sister so much that she hit him with her golf club.

that’s not what did the damage, though. what fucked that old dude up is that i saw my sister hit him from where i was standing and i ran over and started beating him with MY golf club. my mom says that i didn’t know what the hell was happening, but i squared up.

that’s why we got kicked out.

I support your unconditional readiness to throw hands for your sister

(Source: alrightintheworld, via cuntinued)

crunchy-cani:

uncle-billy-offical:

[soft awoo]

context:

(Source: loafed-beans, via cuntinued)

muckkles:

working with children is a wild fucking experience yall. this morning at work one of our second graders got my attention and was like “you know what word my mom told me not to say? PUSSY.” and i was like “then why did you just say it??” and she went “i dunno” and then dabbed

(via lashtoncurls)

(Source: murallamuerta)

(Source: 180-sx, via floozy-jacuzzi)

diddi-p:

this gets funnier with each passing year

(Source: milokerrigan, via cuntinued)

toddreu:

drinkyourjuiceshelby:

hotboyproblems:

the happy ending he deserved

Originally posted by canwehaveapooldad

Sudden urge to go adopt about 20 senior dogs

(Source: hotboyproblems, via cuntinued)

bnmxfld:

“I love that word. Forever. I love that forever doesn’t exist, but we have a word for it anyway, and use it all the time. It’s beautiful and doomed.”

— Viv Albertine

ruffboijuliaburnsides:

anotherdayforchaosfay:

flowernstt:

its-just-a-phage:

fitzefitcher:

n0rma1-people-sxare-me:

A group of rough looking boys walked past me today and all I heard of their conversation was “he’s got that anxiety disorder bro so I went with him so he’d be more comfortable” and it made me realise the world isn’t all that bad

#this is team skull

The pet store I worked at had a pen with rabbits near the front door. On every side of the pen were huge signs saying “You can pet me, but don’t pick me up!”
One day two absolutely huge guys came in and one immediately reaches into the pen to grab a rabbit. Before i could say anything his friend grabbed his arm and asked him “did you see the sign?”
He said “yeah! it says that you can pick them up but don’t pet them!”
Then he went quiet for a moment and softly said “I didn’t read it right did I?”
And his friend just puts his arm on his shoulder and said “its ok, i know you’ve got that thing where words get mixed up. Let just pet these cute lil shits”
And I still haven’t gotten over that interaction.

I was walking my dog through Boston bc he likes the likes car rides. He’s a little thing tbh we call him short and long.
So this huge scary man with a full beard approaches me like “hey can my buddy and I pet your dog? He gets nervous around dogs but your’s is so small I think it’s a good place to start.”
Ofc I was like “yes he’s very friendly!” So this guy brings his equally big friend over and they sit on the floor while this man looks terrified of my tiny dog so big man number one asks “can I pick him up?” And i say yes so he picks him up and puts him on man number two’s lap and man number two is abt to freak out and his friend straight up just goes “hey man, it’s okay just relax I’d never let anything hurt you. He’s a good boy.” I’ll never forget it ever bc I know that man looked at me (5'3 , glasses, probably wearing a sweater vest) and my dog (kinda goofy looking little thing) and was like ‘ah yes the two least intimidating living things I’ve seen in Boston all day he’ll feel relaxed around them’ and went out of his way to help his friend. It makes me so happy

My husband had this Dungeons and Dragons group ages ago, and one of the guys was TERRIFIED of cats.  The moment he sees one he freezes up and can barely breathe.  Said guy is almost seven feet tall and solid wall of muscle.  Whenever he came over I’d put the cats in the bedroom and chill out with a book because my cats don’t like being shut away without one of us. 

One of my cats was pawing at the door and meowing loudly, an indication she REALLY needs to use the litter box.  I let her out and decide, hey, I’m hungry, and decide to the kitchen.  I forgot to shut the bedroom door. 

Next thing I hear is the group going completely silent.  My husband very calmly asks me to come over and help him gather our two cats up.  I go over to where the group is and my black cat, Cacoa, is rubbing up against the guy’s leg, purring, and doing her “let me on your lap” meow.  The other cat, Jasper, is sitting at the window, chilling out.  I go over and pick up Cacoa and tell the big dude she’s harmless, loves laps, and would be thrilled if he pet her.  Very slowly he touches my cat’s face, and she leans right into his hand.  He then pets her back and sighs because she’s really soft and purring like mad.  After a few minutes he asks how to pick her up and if it’s okay if she sits on his lap.

He spent the next six hours spoiling my cat.  The next week he showed up with cat treats and toys because he fell in love with the cats.  He told me he was doing some research on house cats, and even talked to a vet about them.  A couple months later he adopted two cats and was as thrilled and excited as a new parent. 

Oh no a new one!!!

(via cuntinued)

peachygoat:

armorabs:

we know plankton and krabs have been playing poker together for 15 years

we also know this episode aired before the episode where pearl turned 16

while the non-continuity & non-chronological order of the series means that assuming that pearl was 15 in welcome to the chum bucket is a fool’s gamble - it’s reasonable enough that if there is an episode about her turning 16, her character was likely conceptualized as being 15 years old prior to that point. but either she was 15 or she was 16 in welcome to the chum bucket … and either way, that’s about as long as pearl’s been alive.

we also know that pearl is krabs’ biological daughter … through a combination of facts … and were given reason to believe that something happened to the mother of his child shortly after pearl’s birth that made him depressed. she’s not around anymore and no longer apart of their lives in any way shape or form.

we also know plankton and krabs were childhood best friends, going on to have an on-again-off-again friendship for years prior to spongebob getting a job at the krusty krab … and the two are shown to occasionally have moments where they truly, genuinely care about each other deep down, despite the rivalry …

conclusion: plankton might have started playing poker with krabs to cheer him up after the death of his wife

oh thank god i thought you were going to say plankton was pearls mom

(via teenagerposts)

macklemorehentai:

baearth:

dippednv8splash:

hellaween:

communication is the foundation

Where are they going? What are they saying?

I don’t even care they just sound so beautiful

they are singing s traveling song

(Source: weloveshortvideos.com, via teenagerposts)

lovlae:

hellothisissatan:

This is where I’d live if i was a mermaid

this is my favorite video i’ve watched it like 15 times 

(Source: yamcha, via teenagerposts)

breesussaves2509:

sighs-and-sprites:

forest spirits

This is so peaceful and tranquil looking

(Source: ynnesidyad, via teenagerposts)